my belief in love

hidden in a place far away
memories in my heart they now stay
the way your eyes lit my life
how your absence cut like a knife
if only i could forget and not think of
you stole my belief in love

after the hurricane

when the tears no longer form

when the feelings disappear

when your heart doesn't feel

a time to forget

a time to move on

a time to pick up the pieces

because of a life of lies

because of the selfishness

because it wasn't real

after the fear

after the hate

after the hurricane

And the cat name goes to...

Will it be...

A) Mrs. Friskas

B) Charlotte

C) Aqua / Aquamarine (Miss Marine)

Stay tuned!

the new america

real, unabated pride

a turning of the tide

we can conquer hate

end the racially tinged debate

be the change you want to see

know the definition of free

fight for every right

hope lights up the night

the end of an era

welcome to the new america

by jj

on the eve of change

obama 08

VOTE!

Get out there and VOTE!

within reach

i want to remember this

the taste of your lips as we kiss

all i can think of is you

above us a shimmering sky painted blue

waves break against the beach

my dreams almost within reach

after the fire

surrounded by ashes and smoke

unable to breathe, on the air you choke

all that remains is a smoldering fire

burning away the life of a liar

a legacy that has been charred

your heart irreparably scarred

fall

unable to live up to my expectations
failing to acknowledge who i am
striving to reach perfection that isn't real
everything dissolving into something raw
degenerating as the facade crumbles
creating a persona that is fraudulent
living an identity masked my lies
cracks generate through out
the writing is on the wall
everything surrounding me is about to fall

looking for the world to change

we're the generation

we can't afford to wait

the future started yesterday

and we're already late

we've been looking for a song to sing

search for a melody

search for someone to lead

we've been looking for the world to change

if you feel the same

then go on and say

if you're out there

sing along with me

if you're out there

i'm dying to believe

that you're out there

stand up and say it loud

if you're out there

tomorrow's starting now

if you're out there

by john legend

The Hope Rises Again And The Dream Lives On

His voice firm, his wave familiar, Sen. Edward M. Kennedy told a cheering Democratic National Convention Monday night that his is "a season of hope" for an era of justice and fair prosperity with the election of Barack Obama as president.
Kennedy spoke of the future and said he means to be part of it, special words from a man suffering from brain cancer. The Massachusetts senator said he will be in the Senate in January to stand with Obama "when we begin the great test."
He did not speak of the grave cancer he faces but of the things he said he means to do and share. In words echoing those of his brother, President John F. Kennedy, he said that in November "the torch will be passed again to a new generation of Americans.
"The work begins anew. The hope rises again. And the dream lives on," Kennedy said.
His time on stage was brief, little more than seven minutes. But there had been doubt that he would be able to speak at all. He left none, from the moment he stepped to the microphone.
They were minutes of high and unexpected drama for delegates waving thousand of Kennedy signs on opening night of the national convention.
"My fellow Democrats, my fellow Americans, it is so wonderful to be here," he said. "And nothing, nothing is going to keep me away from this special gathering ..."
He flew to Denver Sunday night, and his first stop was a hospital, where doctors examined him. His physicians had been wary of the convention appearance, especially his exposure to crowds, given the weakness of his immune system after weeks of chemotherapy and radiation treatments. The brain cancer was diagnosed after he collapsed in May in Hyannis Port, Mass. After brain surgery in June he had been at home, save for a brief trip to Washington to cast a Senate vote on July 10 for Medicare legislation that had been stalled in deadlock

longing for ohio

the late summer nights pass by

cicadas begin their cry

the cool evening air marches in

a new season is set to begin

corn stalks visible everywhere

crowds turn out at the county fair

leaves slowly start to let go

the autumn sun casts an amber glow

by jj

08.21.08

a quarter til three

it is a quarter til three
our room is black i can hardly see
it's still outside
under blankets we reside
you are asleep next to me
your expression calm as the sea
listening as you breathe
this moment i never want to leave

if we hold on together

miles separate us

memories keep us united

our lives go on

our lives pass by

looking back we were inseparable

looking forward we're together

the love we share will never end

the fondness in my heart keeps growing

MAMMA MIA!

GO SEE THIS MOVIE!

The best time I've had in the theatre in years!

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE MAMMA MIA!

a laugh like no other

in my dresser is your favorite shirt

together we would laugh til it hurt

i surround myself with pictures of you

if those last days i only knew

the time we had was nearing the end

all the love inside to you i would send

i'll never forget the friendship we had

the sound of your voice makes me glad

i can still see the glimmer in your eyes

when i think of you my spirit rises

i always felt like i was your brother

you possessed a laugh like no other

to tessa

seven years gone by

to me, you'll never die

with me you will always stay

justin

lost?

Just because I'm losing

Doesn't mean I'm lost

Doesn't mean I'll stop

Doesn't mean I would cross

Just because I'm hurting

Doesn't mean I'm hurt

Doesn't mean I didn't get

What I deserved

No better and no worse

I just got lost

Every river that I tried to cross

Every door I ever tried was locked

Ohhh and I'm...

Just waiting 'til the shine wears off

You might be a big fish

In a little pond

Doesn't mean you've won

Cause along may come

A bigger one

And you'll be lost

Every river that you tried to cross

Every gun you ever held went off

Ohhh and I'm...

Just waiting until the firing stopped

Ohhh and I'm...

Just waiting 'til the shine wears off

when you find it don't let go

unable to close my eyes at night

the love we share pushing new heights

uncertainty washed away

never able to forget that first day

when my eyes met yours

i was so sure

the touch of your skin

everything began again

all you had to show

never willing to let go

meant to be we are

from me don't stray far

without you i would cease to exist

remember when we first kissed?

in a moment my world was filled with light

love at first sight

by jj

07.09.08

give it 2 me

What are you waiting for?

Nobody's gonna show you how

Why work for someone else

To do what you can do right now?

Got no boundaries and no limits

If there's excitement, put me in it I

If it's against the law, arrest me

If you can handle it, undress me

Don't stop me now, don't need to catch my breath

I can go on and on and on

When the lights go down and there's no one left

I can go on and on and on

Give it to me, yeah

No one's gonna show me how

Give it to me, yeah

No one's gonna stop me now

They say that a good thing never lasts

And then it has to fall

Those are the the people that did not

Amount to much at all

Give it to me...

(...a raise that is)

working on my fitness

I did it! I actually managed to avoid Starbucks for an entire day. I shook up the usual routine and only had water to drink today. This is major. For lunch I had a fruit cup and a chicken sandwich. It was only one day but I am really proud of myself. I just completed a thirty minute work out too. What a way to start the second half of 2008. Now all I have to do is keep up the excitement and intensity.

hope

hope. a short, seemingly insignificant word. i am filled with it tonight. i just attended my first obama party and it was brilliant. such a diverse group. so much intelligent talk to go around. people i had just met opening up about their lives to every one else. it was uplifting, and inspiring. i felt like i belonged to this random group assembled in a stranger's house. that is my america. an america filled with people from all walks of life at various stages of life uniting for the purpose of making this world a better place to live in. i am going to do everything i can to ensure that come january barack obama is sworn in as our next president. here's for hope.

what love means

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined.
"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." Rebecca - age 8
"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4
"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs." Chrissy - age 6
"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." Terri - age 4
"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss" Emily - age 8
"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate," Nikka - age 6
"There are two kinds of love. Our love. God's love. But God makes both kinds of them." Jenny - age 8
"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday." Noelle - age 7
"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore," Cindy - age 8
"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night." Clare - age 6
"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." Karen - age 7
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross." Mark - age 6
"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget," Jessica - age 8

crossing the carolina state line

i remember my hands on the wheel
glances at the hills and mountains i would steal

a nervous stomach i tried to ignore
what i would find i wasn't sure

with each mile my anxiety grew
the air was warm, the sky blue

then came the moment i felt fine
crossing the carolina state line




by jj

SHINE

They will try to make you feel

That you're not good enough

You feel so incomplete

Don't let them change you

Show this whole world that you were made to

Shine

They can't shut out your light

No matter how hard they try

They try but they never can win

Cuz they can't stop what's inside

They'll try to take you

Try to break you down

Remember you were born to shine

Don't let them make you think

That you're not pretty enough no no no no

You're beauty runs so deep

So deep inside you you know that's the reason why you

SHINE

by Ashanti

Viva La Vida

Viva La Vida

Coldplay's New Album

In Stores Now!

Sex And The City

Tonight was the third time I have seen Sex And The City in the theatre. Each time I walk away with something else. A renewed sense of self. A different take on the choices I have made in my life. Realization of how important my loved ones are. This movie is an honest portrayal of life. Happiness isn't a destination, it is a never ending journey. Often in our minds we select a time in life when we will be satisfied and happy. This idealistic time continually gets further and further out of reach as life goes on. I want to be cognizant and remember each moment, each day could be the last. I will do my best to take this to heart. I cannot say enough about what this great movie did for me. If you've only seen it one time you must go see Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda again. Absorb the layers, and the different story lines. The film is best viewed in a theatre with only a handful of people. Then you can actually hear the film and let it affect you. Get Carried away.

it becomes clear

a life spent lying
inside slowly dying
constantly trying
to overcome fears
to dry the tears
unable to switch gears
blinded by hate
cursing fate
an internal debate
it is not a choice
searching for a voice
wanting to rejoice
as it becomes clear
more are willing to hear
and realize we are born queer

By JJ

06.10.08

HISTORIC

Tonight my faith in this country has been restored. I am proud to be an American and part of a generation that isn't defined by race, by gender. A generation that embraces diversity and change. History has been written tonight.

In what he called a "defining moment for our nation," Sen. Barack Obama on Tuesday became the first African-American to head the ticket of a major political party. Obama's steady stream of superdelegate endorsements, combined with the delegates he received from Tuesday's primaries, put him past the 2,118 threshold, CNN projects.
"Tonight we mark the end of one historic journey with the beginning of another -- a journey that will bring a new and better day to America," he said.
"Tonight, I can stand before you and say that I will be the Democratic nominee for president of the United States."

The Night Sky

AND WE'LL RELEASE THIS TOWN FROM THE PEOPLE
WHO ARE TRYING TO KNOCK IT DOWN
AND THEN ONLY CITY LIGHTS WILL BRIGHTEN THE NIGHT SKY
AND THERE WILL BE NO SOUND

OPEN THE BARS AND
OPEN THE MARKETS
OPEN THE BANKS AND
OPEN THE CHURCHES

AND WE'LL RELEASE THIS TOWN FROM THE PEOPLE
WHO ARE TRYING TO KNOCK IT DOWN
AND THEN ONLY CITY LIGHTS WILL BRIGHTEN THE NIGHT SKY
AND THERE WILL BE NO SOUND

WE'VE BEEN COWERING SO LONG
OH WHAT I WOULD GIVE
TO STAND AT THE BUS STOP
OR BROWSE IN A BOOKSHOP
TO SLEEP AND ALWAYS BE STILL

AND WE'LL RELEASE THIS TOWN FROM THE PEOPLE
WHO ARE TRYING TO KNOCK IT DOWN
AND THEN ONLY CITY LIGHTS WILL BRIGHTEN THE NIGHT SKY
AND I WILL BE SET FREE FROM THE PEOPLE
WHO ARE TRYING TO BURY ME
AND THEN ONLY FIREWORKS WILL LIGHT THE SKY AT NIGHT
FOR ALL THE WORLD CAN SEE

by KEANE

trying to be perfect

"I admit it's tempting to wish for the perfect boss - the perfect parent - or the perfect outfit. But maybe the best any of us can do is not quit, play the hand we've been dealt, and accessorize what we've got."
-Carrie (Sex & the City)


I finally realize how important it is to look around and accept people for who they are. I've spent a lifetime holding myself and everyone else to impossible standards. For so long I felt that I couldn't accept myself. To those of you who at times I've rejected, hurt, and treated unkindly please read this and recognize it as my apology to you. I may have seemed stuck in my head. Obsessed with myself. It was all a disguise I wore well hiding the real me. Thank you for believing there was more underneath the surface and for your forgiveness.

For You

ever since your captivating eyes
illuminated my dark skies
when you held me like you do
without a doubt i knew
i am somebody else inside
my secrets to you i confide
you held my heart in your hand
a life together we planned
you are undeniably the one for me
despite all the flaws you see
love rushed into our lives
just like a tide when it arrives
the love that binds us is true
all of my life i will live for you



for my love

then, now and forever

05.23.2008

when we said goodbye

it was another cold october day
words couldn't express what i had to say
walking away from you was unbelievably hard
i had to leave the place that left me scarred
all of the memories we shared
not seeing you everyday had me scared
who would take care of you
our family would be there, that i knew
you gave me the gift of life
in turn i caused you much internal strife
i know you did the best you possibly could
teaching me how to love, that you did good
hugging you that last time made me cry
when we said goodbye

you were supposed to grow old

i've let you slowly slip away
losing a part of you each day

forgetting the sound of your voice
letting the impact you had vanish is a choice

i can still see your smile
we'll be together again, in just a while

memories of you onto i hold
you were supposed to grow old

by jj
05.16.08

Yearning For Zion (Or In This Case...Style)

THIS IS SO HILARIOUS. TWO OF MY FAVORITE PEOPLE. MO ROCCA, AND TIM GUNN.

the pathetic president of the united states

President Bush is pathetic. This is just another reason he is the most unpopular President in US history. I detest him and everything he stands for.

Barack Obama accused President Bush of "a false political attack" Thursday after Bush warned in Israel against appeasing terrorists - early salvos in a general election campaign that's already blazing even as the Democratic front-runner tries to sew up his party's nomination.

The White House denied Bush had targeted Obama, who said the Republican commander in chief's intent was obvious.

In short order, the controversy spilled across the presidential campaign.

John McCain, the Republican nominee in waiting, said Obama was showing "naivete and inexperience and lack of judgment" in his willingness to meet with U.S. foes.

Hillary Rodham Clinton then called Bush's original comments "offensive and outrageous, especially in light of his failures in foreign policy."

As the workday began stateside, Bush gave a speech to Israel's Knesset in which he spoke of the president of Iran, who has called for the destruction of the U.S. ally. Then, the president said: "Some seem to believe that we should negotiate with the terrorists and radicals, as if some ingenious argument will persuade them they have been wrong all along."

"We have heard this foolish delusion before. As Nazi tanks crossed into Poland in 1939, an American senator declared: 'Lord, if I could only have talked to Hitler, all this might have been avoided.' We have an obligation to call this what it is - the false comfort of appeasement, which has been repeatedly discredited by history," Bush added.

With the president abroad and those seeking to succeed him campaigning at home, the transcontinental tiff signaled the early direction of the general election. Bush seemed to assume the traditional lame-duck presidential role in trying to help the Republican nominee-in-waiting, and Obama tried to maneuver for advantage - and to show strength - while on the cusp of clinching the Democratic nomination.

McCain played his political role as well in tandem with Obama, notable for two White House hopefuls who are campaigning for a bipartisan governing approach free of the often divisive discourse in Washington.

By tradition, partisan politics comes to a halt when a U.S. president is on foreign soil, and Bush's remarks led Obama to quickly cry foul. The first-term Illinois senator responded to the comments as if they were criticism of his position that as president he would be willing to personally meet with Iran's leaders and those of other regimes the United States has deemed rogue.

"It is sad that President Bush would use a speech to the Knesset on the 60th anniversary of Israel's independence to launch a false political attack," Obama said in a statement his aides distributed. "George Bush knows that I have never supported engagement with terrorists, and the president's extraordinary politicization of foreign policy and the politics of fear do nothing to secure the American people or our stalwart ally Israel.

the end is near

ABC News' Karen Travers Reports: For the first time this campaign season, Barack Obama has surpassed Hillary Clinton's support among superdelegates, according to the ABC News delegate estimate.

Sen. Obama, D-Ill., picked up two superdelegates this morning giving him a new metric to tout in addition to his current commanding leads in pledged delegates, popular votes, states won, and money raised.

Rep. Donald Payne, D-N.J., switched his endorsement from Clinton to Obama and Rep. Peter DeFazio, D-Ore., endorsed Obama. DeFazio was previously uncommitted.

With these endorsements, Obama has the support of 267 superdelegates and Clinton has 265 superdelegates.

who i've become

I used to be someone else. A liar, living for everyone else and not myself. Fear enveloped my entire existence. I spent countless hours deconstructing every thought that ran through my head. The person who spent years crying, praying and begging God to take it away. Suicide regularly came up when I felt I was losing ground. I was unwilling to live life as who I was. Holding myself to standards that were destroying me inside out. I hated my heart's desire. I tried to ignore it. Convincing myself I could win this battle. I could overcome these feelings. It was just a phase I would think. Something God put in my life to teach me something. What the struggle has taught me is paramount to who I am today. Scars from the hate I had for myself are still visible. I've begun to move on from this way of existing. I no longer apologize for who I am. I was born, and still am gay. It is about taking ownership and embracing what it means to be who I am. It was no conscious choice I made one day. It is inherent in me. People are still questioning my motives, my choices and deciding my eternal fate. I don't believe in their idea of God. God is someone else to me, and I am someone else to him.

live life

forget about your past
end how long it will last

don't let fear hold you back
get life back on track

a moment to wait forever for
ask out of each day more

don't turn around, look ahead
unlearn all the bad things said

the life you thought you lived shatters
happiness is the only thing that matters

until you really try

until you really try
i will no longer cry
no more tears lost
lines i will not cross
to make amends
in order to pretend
that we understand one another
even though we come from the same mother
because you don't care
although you may swear
that you love me
i must disagree
based on your actions
your constant distractions
all your talk i do not buy
until you really try

by jj

dedicated to my sister

04.27.08

coming soon to a bumper near you

STOP THE DRAMA!

Vote Obama!

it's a new life

a new car

a new address

a new job



april is my new favorite month

the empty stars

times like this words fail
all the pain cannot be detailed

the world looks different outside
the laws of nature by which we must abide

tears continue to fall
time slows to a crawl

the pain cuts like a knife
measuring the meaning of a life

unanswerable questions arise
when someone loved dies

Tell Me Lies, Tell Me Sweet Little Lies

Reason 247 to cast a vote for Barack

http://www.nypost.com/seven/03312008/news/worldnews/from_bad_to_verse_for_hill_104288.htm

McCain = more of the same

From The Huffington Post entitled "McCain Guru Linked To Subprime Crisis"
The general co-chairman of John McCain’s presidential campaign, former Sen. Phil Gramm (R-Texas), led the charge in 1999 to repeal a Depression-era banking regulation law that Barack Obama claimed on Thursday contributed significantly to today’s economic turmoil. “A regulatory structure set up for banks in the 1930s needed to change because the nature of business had changed,” the Illinois senator running for president said in a New York economic speech. “But by the time [it] was repealed in 1999, the $300 million lobbying effort that drove deregulation was more about facilitating mergers than creating an efficient regulatory framework.” Gramm’s role in the swift and dramatic recent restructuring of the nation’s investment houses and practices didn’t stop there. According to federal lobbying disclosure records, Gramm lobbied Congress, the Federal Reserve and the Treasury Department about banking and mortgage issues in 2005 and 2006. During those years, the mortgage industry pressed Congress to roll back strong state rules that sought to stem the rise of predatory tactics used by lenders and brokers to place homeowners in high-cost mortgages. For his work, Gramm and two other lobbyists collected $750,000 in fees from UBS’s American subsidiary. In the past year, UBS has written down more than $18 billion in exposure to subprime loans and other risky securities and is considering cutting as many as 8,000 jobs. Now, some housing experts and economists see Gramm’s thinking in the recent housing proposal from McCain, the Republican Party’s presumed presidential nominee. Gramm is often a surrogate for the Arizona senator, particularly in meetings focused on the economy. And McCain has hinted he’d consider the former Texas senator for Treasury secretary in a McCain administration.

(For the entire article http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0308/9246.html)

"I'm going to be honest: I know a lot less about economics than I do about military and foreign policy issues. I still need to be educated," McCain told the Wall Street Journal in late November.

what you mean to me

in your eyes my future i see

holding your hand calms my mind

with you i know who i want to be

i never thought you i would find

when you're away i am sad

wrapped in your arms is where i prefer to be

at the sight of your face my heart is glad

no one but you knows the real me

i am made of more than yesterday

Why do I let the past define me? That thought has been circulating in my mind today. Days gone by cannot continue to control my life. I've been governed by it for years. Letting go isn't a matter of giving up. It is about walking away from familiarity. The realization that I don't need it to give me a temporary sense of self. I've said all there is to say about my irretrievable past. A Course in Miracles says, "You cannot really not let go what has already gone. It must be, therefore, that you are maintaining the illusion that it has not gone because you think it serves some purpose that you want fulfilled." I know this is a marathon, not a sprint. I have started over- and over, and over again. I am starting over once more.

5

two thousand and three

my heart would agree

was a year i'll never forget

that i no longer regret

who i turned out to be

the life that i started to see

the decisions i made

the path that had been laid

a great distance i have travelled

fears slowly faded and unravelled

i am stronger than i thought

life lessons i have been taught

i've never felt more alive

years have passed, to be exact five

by jj

03.13.2008

A Change Would Do You Good

No, it's not what you are thinking. This isn't a post about that Sheryl Crow song. (Although I wouldn't mind hearing the Obama camp use the song at rallies) The following is an excerpt from an article I just read on The Huffington Post. It sums my feelings up for the Clinton campaign. Weeks ago I was a Hillary supporter, but she has gone far enough and slung too much mud. This country doesn't need another polarizing president dividing us. We need change.

Every day, one is struck by the (one-sided) viciousness in this fight. Six bloody weeks of it to go? Six weeks of coarsening opportunistic soulless nastiness. And the effect? Hillary Clinton's unfavorable rating amongst Obama supporters continues to rise according to the Wall Street Journal/MSNBC poll released tonight. The reverse is not true. And her coalition of white women and white blue-collar workers is unlikely to surge the way that young people and African-Americans are surging towards Obama. Those Americans -- the African-Americans who have been turned off by politics as usual and by total exclusion, the young who have been so disgusted by war-mongering and corruption so evident in the smug faces of those in power -- finally see in Obama something of the best in themselves, and something to aspire to: Idealism, dignity, hope, matched by strength and stoicism. Matched by a very keen sense of how to work the system.

Never, never, never give up

This time around

You can be anyone

This time around

This love of ours

This time around

You can be anyone

Helen Stellar

Elizabethtown Soundtrack

These are words to live by.

twenty four

it started with an eclipse

time to come to grips

nothing left to lose

moments from which to choose

lessons to be learned from

figuring out who to become

a new path on which to embark

escaping the shadows and the dark

consumed and wanting more

the year i turned twenty four

jj

03.08.08